Dorf Fort

For those who don't know -- http://j.mp/Tw74DO -- now you do.

Dwarf Fortress is a game of insane complexity. I'm not even sure I should say 'game' as it's more of a painful simulation of a horde of drunken, depressed midgets. Don't forget they're also fond of drink and industry. In any case, I've had a few great things happen with the physics in this game.

The first, I got the notification that elves have come to trade. "Tree huggers!", my eyes alit with fury. I waited patiently as they slowly brought their guards, wagons, mules, all of their goods and finally the broker into my trade depot. I hit the switch, a previously invisible drawbridge slammed shut, sealing them in. I saw a moment of confusion as they wandered about, but they didn't seem to really notice their problem until I hit the second switch. Urist McPeon went and dutifully flung the lever, causing floodgates above the elves to open - pouring magma below. Their resistance was futile, they ran in circles burning to a crisp and leaving puffs of smoke as their various bits and goods were destroyed. After the room was sufficiently coated, and there was no more movement, I ordered the lever to be hit again. This closed the in-feed and opened the grates to allow the molten rock to escape the room. Another order for Urist to open the drawbridge, and at once my dorfs were in and out as fast as they could - saving all the non-molten goodies. After a few moments, I noticed a path on the ground starting to appear - it was beige in colour, and every now and again little splotches of red next to it. I inspected it, and to my horror realized that in their dutiful haste, my dorfs were standing on the glowing hot trade depot, melting the fat off of their feet. They left trails and pools of molten fat wherever they went, and every once in awhile they would leave a puddle of blood. "Urist McPeon's dwarven fat. Urist McPeon's dwarven blood."

They all died.

I learned from this, and now I drown the elves.